


tainted (tommyinnit angst)

by tobyornottobee



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, SBI Family Dynamic, Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Suicide Attempt, i hate tagging wtf, lol, toby projects onto xyr hyperfixations, tommyinnit is not ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:47:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28890843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobyornottobee/pseuds/tobyornottobee
Summary: tommyinnit has the big sad and is done with this shit (read notes before reading i don't want to trigger yous baes xx)
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 230





	tainted (tommyinnit angst)

**Author's Note:**

> TW: suicide attempt, overdose, self harm , trichotillomania ment  
> WC: 607
> 
> projection / vent fic lulzz,, READ THE TWS BEFORE READING!! I DO NOT WANT TO TRIGGER ANYONE, CONTINUE AT YOUR OWN RISK!

tommy had never been good with expressing his feelings. 

he was nine when he realised this world wasn't for him. 

at eleven, he began self harming. carving lines into his skin and ripping out his hair became his only escape.

thirteen was the first time he tried. his adoptive father, phil, had set him up for counselling sessions every other week. they didn't last long. the boy found lying his way out of things and acting fine easy, roleplaying on a near daily basis definitely helped. 

and here he was, age 16, counting the pills infront of him for the millionth time. would 24 be enough? he began to question himself again. he'd had this planned out for weeks, and he'd finally plucked up the courage to do it. 

tommy picked up his phone, deciding on leaving his friends a quick dm. a final goodbye, if you will. he'll be gone, by the time help arrives, anyway. he scrolls through his discord, thumbs tapping against one and other, before deciding on messaging wilbur first. 

wilbur, tommy's older brother. the one that had guided him through life. the one that trusted him to be left alone in the house alone for the day. the one he'd been through hell and back with, over the past 8 years since phil had adopted him.

WilburSoot

Tommyinnit: Hey, big man. Just reminding you how much i appreciate you. I don't say it enough. Thank you for everything you've done for me. I'm really sorry. Much love, stay safe. 

his fingers hovered over the send button for a moment. is this really what he wants? is there not another option, one last opportunity to fall back on? as much as he loved to deny it, even to himself, he did want it. the boy craved the sweet release that death would bring, the only thing that could silence the thoughts. the ones that were always so loud and obnoxious at the worst times, reminding him he wasn't good enough. reprimanding him on everything he said and did, telling him how much he was embarrassing himself. he firmly pushed that idea to the back of his mind, now with a newly instilled confidence hitting send.

naturally, next would be tubbo. his best friend. the sweet, naive, bee loving boy. he began to think of all the memories, from the day the pair met to the last time they spoke. he couldn't. he couldn't do it. how was he supposed to tell the boy he'd spent the majority of his days with that he'd be gone by the morning? 

his phone dropped to the floor. he swallowed a handful.  
and then another. one by one, the remaining pills were swallowed. there was no going back now. this was it. tommy smiled a little, at the thought. it was almost comforting, in a way.

the boy leaned against the wall, sinking to his knees and gripping the crumpled a4 note beside him.

the effects are beginning to set in. his surroundings seem a little fuzzy. 

someone frantically banging on the front door. he thinks he hears a voice too, they seem angry. tommy is too far gone to care. 

the boys vision begins to fade, reality crumbling around him, the last thing he witnesses before losing consciousness being the sight of wilbur rushing into the room with phil, their adoptive dad, close behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like october i swear im a better author now, might post some of that


End file.
